Another similarity shared between these players is their relatively short stature, an unfortunate trait at the best of times (I would know), but even worse in a state dominated by AFL, a sport that consists of about 50% trying to mount and jump above someone and 50% trying not to get mounted. Instead of the Storm investing in players who weren’t fit for AFL, they should be poaching young throbbers before the evil allure of the southern sport corrupts them.

It’s understandable that the Storm are facing an uphill battle in a state that barely pays attention to the sport, but as they grow into a dominant force as a club and a business, it’s time to upgrade the tactics. When I used to be a glassie at the Beach Road Hotel, I would scour the venue after closing time for leftover redbulls that had been lost by rowdy dribblers. As a young, poor scallywag, it was a great system and helped me through my formative years. But now as I’m older and slightly less poor, I’ve graduated to being able to satisfy my urge at the source, rather than settle for someone else’s leftovers.

Let me just say that I’m still a fan of Dean, Mahe, Richie and Young, but if Melbourne want to rule the development game as much as they rule the football game, they need to go bigger. Perhaps the weight of being the sole representative for your state playing in a team full of outsiders takes a mental toll that restricts the chemistry between players. In a team full of Queenslanders and Kiwis, the Victorians could feel ignored and excluded. If Victoria are serious about developing the game in their state, its time to start playing with the big boys, and converting AFL juniors.