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The Shane Warne Movie is Out Now and it Could be the Greatest Story Ever Told on Film

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The Shane Warne Movie is Out Now and it Could be the Greatest Story Ever Told on Film

DYOR Dave

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Ever since the first film was projected by the Lumière brothers in 1895, filmmakers have been searching for the perfect story to tell on the big screen. 137 years later, they found it, in the form of the incomparable Shane Keith Warne.

Move over Casablanca, get lost Citizen Kane, and take a hike The Godfather, the new Shane Warne film is sure to be an instant classic.

The film, simply titled ‘Shane,’ tells the story of the man behind the 708 wickets and the personal toll of his meteoric rise to fame.

Featuring interviews with cricketing greats like Sachin Tendulkar and Merv Hughes, as well as members of his family, this film seeks to get to the heart of Warney as a person, rather than as a caricature of himself.

Along with his closest confidants, Warney couldn’t let the film proceed without a couple of celebrity cameos, including Ed Sheeran of ‘not Ron Weasley fame’ and Chris Martin of ‘the one from Coldplay not the cricketer’ fame.

 

Among highlights of his career and intimate home videos from his adult life, there’s also inspiring scenes of Warne standing with his kids in front of a sunset as well as strutting barefoot on a beach while wearing his now infamous train drivers hat.

The Shane Warne story has been told time and time again, and while its unlikely this film will redefine how we see the man, it’s sure to add a few more spicy details to the man we know and love.

‘Shane’ is available in select cinemas around Australia until January 25, and then will be available on Amazon Prime.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

 

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #329 – Stump Specialists

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Can Marnus Use Woo-Woo to Take His Game to the Next Level?

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Can Marnus Use Woo-Woo to Take His Game to the Next Level?

by The Banana Bender Dribbler

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To quote the great Michael Gary Scott,

“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious”

Coming off the voluminous runs that saw him become the leading batsman in test cricket, Marnus threw caution to the wind and decided to change his bat and grip to the new retro-inspired Kookaburra Bubble (which does look fantastic I might add).

This can only be seen as an act of spitting in the face of the devilish cricket gods. Dumping a piece of willow after it led you to the most successful period of your career is a decision that should not be taken lightly.

Since the change, he has only mustered a meager average of 14.5 and his once loveable neurotic mannerisms at the crease have started to look twitchy and nervous.

The only solution to this voodoo-based dilemma is Woo Woo and lots of it. We must get this bat charged with the energy of a thousand moons and back to scoring bulk runs for the nation.

I know about the magic of moon water but is there such a thing as moon varnish? If we could somehow dip this schcmick piece of willow in some glorious enchanted Moon Varnish we could vanquish this dark cloud of energy forever.

Or alternatively, he could just go back to the bloody old bat!

Part of me thinks he should have known better, but I guess when you’re flying as high as he was, you can get a little devil-may-care and disregard the potential bad ju-ju.

In conclusion, sort your shit out Marnus. But if you do require Woo-Woo based consulting, reach out.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

 

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #329 – Stump Specialists

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The 2021 Dribbler Awards

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The 2021 Dribbler Awards

Bradley James Kahler

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What a year it’s been; throbbers throbbing, magoos doing their thing and betas losing their wangs to alphas all over the world.

Before the awards start off we, as a collective group of punters & dribblers, would like to pay our respects to the illustrious XI and tip our collective caps to them.

We also like to acknowledge the glorious sponsors throughout the year. Really helps keep the lads at the top of the heap.

Special mention to friend of the show Denan Kemp, we hope you enjoyed your holiday but don’t you dare go away again. We’re still trying to get over the trauma of 3 weeks without Beak.

Biggest thanks of all goes to Hello Sport’s Tom and Eddy, of king of dribble and yarn fame, for delivering us a healthy dose of almost daily dribble. We’d melt without our fixtures and will do some sick, twisted shit to keep you boys top of the heap.

With millions of votes cast from dribblers around the world, these prestigious awards will be cherished by the winners for the rest of their lives, so without further ado, enjoy the 2021 Dribbler awards:

 

Meme Trend of the Year

1 – Danny Weilder of in the shot fame – 52%

2 – Wholesome Kempy Posting – 28%

3 – Birmingham’s Big Alpha Weight Loss – 11%

 

Bedshit of the Year

1 – Gateway 504 bedshit – 57%

2 – England losing the Ashes in less days than isolation – 27%

3 – Ronaldo Mulitalo Queensland Selection – 11%

 

Old Man Yells At Cloud Award

1 – Mr Mayo Buzz Rothfield – 38%

2 – Warnie on Fox – 38%

3 – Dean Bulldog Ritchie & his FPM/CPH count – 11%

 

Scandal of the Year

1 – Dragon’s microwave dinner party – 47%

2 – Lachlan Lewis eBay speakers – 27%

3 – Omo cleaning with Munster and Cheese – 9%

 

Golden Moment of the Year

1 – Boland 6-7 off 4 overs MCG – 41%

2 – Ariarne Titmuss & her pelvic thrusting coach – 21%

3 – Origin 1 live show with turbo ramming QLD into the earth – 10%

 

About Even Punter of the Year

1 – Tom Birmingham aka Greatest punter alive – 54%

2 – Sebastian Antoniou aka the bath siphon king – 25%

3 – Michael Pryde aka Rainman – 11%

4 – Eddy Simpson aka About Even – 8%

 

Magoo of the Year

1 – Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – 68%

2 – Novak Djokovic – 9%

3 – Connor McGregor – 8%

 

Alpha Throbber of the Year

1 – Pat  ‘Ol Blue Eyes’ Cummins – 41%

2 – Turbo and his Tommy Knocker – 29%

3 – Emma McKeon 4 Gold 3 Bronze – 10%

 

Yarn of the Year

1 – Eddy with the Bandicoot yarn – 47%

2 – Kempy’s park ground & pound – 24%

3 – Tom vs spacer earring guy – 7%

 

Australian of the Year

1 – Patty Mills – 58%

2 – Denan Kemp – 23%

3 – Tommy Turbo – 6%

 

Wool pull of the Year

1 – Beak claiming to be from the country – 45%

2 – Beep test promises – 25%

3 – Burner account Sam “huge day” Davis – 9%

 

Dribbler of the Year

1 – Danny Exoticcc – 43%

2 – Roger Fabri – 18%

3 – KTD (Kicking Tee Dribbler) – 15%

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

 

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #328 – True Magoo

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HOT TAKE: Why We Need Warnie As a Commentator

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HOT TAKE: Why We Need Warnie As a Commentator

DYOR Dave

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The 2021 Ashes series has so far been a tidal wave of success and happiness for Aussie fans. Despite injuries, covid scares, and uncertain openers, the team has easily powered through England in the first two tests, and are looking likely to do the same again this week.

If you ask most Aussie dribblers what the worst part about this series has been, I can guarantee you that Shane Warne’s commentary would be their outstanding lowlight. Between his hatred for Mitchell Starc, his pointless tangents that take priority over actual commentary, and his thinly-veiled advances at Isa Guha, he’s once again leaving his mark on an Ashes series.

Herein lies the conundrum: How can we as dribblers come to terms with a man of such immense stature, a man who’s contributed so much to the sporting and dribbling community, becoming so universally disliked?

Just as Warnie has cast a small black shadow over this otherwise flawless series, so has he begun to chisel away at the pristine career that has for decades pushed the boundaries of what an elite sportsman can be. His antics always delivered wild yarns without crossing over into offensive or malicious areas, and considering his performance on the pitch never disappointed, it was always play on for Warnie.

I don't see Mark Howard ripping any billies with his face on them

I don't see Mark Howard ripping any billies with his face on them

 

For so long, Warne was the tallest of poppies, an unassailable dribbler who couldn’t be faulted, until now… but that’s ok. Australians love nothing more than cutting down a tall poppy, it’s part of our history and our heritage. We’re not a society who says that our leaders are saviours of the world or chosen by god, we give them as much vitriol as we would the bloke who’s taking too long to order a schnitty in front of you at a pub.

Would we really accept that one of our cultural heroes is some sort of perfectly righteous and all-knowing demigod? Of course not! He’s a dribbler just like the rest of us, spouting unqualified opinion and unwavering bias… and that’s why we love him. How much less would we, as dribblers, have to talk about this series if it wasn’t for Warnie’s commentary?

Warnie is such a strong and true dribbler that his dribble provides the foundational dribble upon which we as a community can build our own dribble on. He is a gift given to us by the gods of dribble, but just like anything in this world, be it Warnie’s career or this Ashes series, the good cannot exist without the bad.

Shane Warne is Yin and Yang. Shane Warne is the King of Spin and the dunce of dribble. Shane Warne is as true an Aussie dribbler as they come, and we wouldn’t want it any other way.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

 

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #325 – Covid Nangs

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Can You Separate the Art from the Artist? Shane Warne the Bowler Vs Shane Warne the Commentator

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Can You Separate the Art from the Artist? Shane Warne the Bowler Vs Shane Warne the Commentator

by Joseph Murphy

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Can you separate the art from the artist? It’s a question that makes the rounds every time it turns out some celebrity is incapable of doing anything productive without also committing an atrocity on the side.

How can we possibly treasure the memories of Shane Warne the cricketer whilst listening to Shane Warne the commentator? How can I reconcile the fact that a man I’ve idolised since I learnt what cricket was, the man who bowled the Gatting ball, the man who won countless test series for Australia, just spent the entire day making me wish he’d shut the fuck up?

Be it refusing to acknowledge that Mitch Starc bowled Roy Burns with an absolute peach, or insisting that England still had a chance to save the innings and score 250 when they were all of 5/not much, Warnie is pissing into the ear of the punter and dribbler around Australia.

Now I’m looking back on 2008, when a long-haired ruffian tipping the top end of the scales had his team chase him through the outfield after knocking over Andrew Strauss for his 700th wicket, with a gnawing feeling that this is the same bloke that refused to acknowledge that a ball that swung half a metre moved at all.

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Warnie’s been dipping into his contrarian box a lot recently, picking hot take after hot take of who doesn’t deserve to be in the rest side. Constant hot takes are a gamble, you’ve got to be right every now and then for people to believe you, or you can just be right on one really hot take.

As a gambler, Warnie knows this, and he kept trying to pull himself out of debt with increasingly hot takes, going so far as to insist that batting was the right decision when England were 7 down, they’d just copped a couple of “unlucky” balls and played shots that weak English test players tend to play were, in Warnies view, were just “uncharacteristic”.

Maybe it will all pass as we get deeper into the summer. I mean, I can still watch Inspector Gadget with the knowledge that Matthew Broderick killed two people in a car accident and only had to pay a $175 fine (allegedly, allegedly).  But if I hear even a suggestion that Jack Leach is on-par with Nathan Lyon, then how will I ever be able to watch the stump-dance again?

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

 

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #321 – Crystal Ducks

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“Aussie Pace Trio” Now #1 Search on Pornhub After Incredible Nut Display

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“Aussie Pace Trio” Now #1 Search on Pornhub After Incredible Nut Display

by Goose Gould

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Australian pace trio Mitchell Starc, Josh Hazlewood and Pat Cummins are reportedly in talks with legendary adult film star James Deen about future collaborations following Wednesday morning’s incredible display of nut. 

By midday on Wednesday, the term “Aussie pace trio” was the most searched item on adult website Pornhub all year, while each player saw their profiles skyrocket to the first three positions on the top charts.

Day 1, Session 1 of the First Ashes Test saw an explosion of seed as Starc, Hazlewood and Cummins ripped through England’s top order to leave the visitors reeling at 4-29 before lunch. 

Starc’s arguably premature nut brought the Gabba to its collective knees after splattering Rory Burns’ leg stump with seed on ball #1 before Hazlewood and skipper Cummins edged their way to wickets in the 4th, 6th and 13th overs. 

Word of the trio’s X-rated exploits shot worldwide with keen attention paid across the Pacific. 

it’s alleged United States resident James Deen of having a whopping knob fame reached out to the Herald to flag his interest in collaborating with our test cricketers. 

“I’ve throw some nut around in my day but that session of cricket left me breathless,” Deen told the Herald.

“I couldn’t believe it – seed on wood, cherries popping up left right and centre – so I showed my managers some footage and they’re well keen.” 

Fellow porn icon Johnny Sins agreed, pitching some prospective monikers for the Australian bowlers. 

“I’d work with those boys any day,” Sins eagerly confirmed. 

 “As for names, Josh Hazabigwood and Mitchell Starkers write themselves and while Ol Blue Eyes works a treat for the captain, Pat Cumminside has a certain ring to it.” 

It’s not known whether former Australian skipper Tim Paine’s bulging disc will make him unavailable for selection in the Deen Team but both Americans noted his enthusiasm. 

“We’ll be in touch, for sure.” 

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

 

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #320 – 502 Gateway

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QLD BULLShit: Banana Benders Continue to get Snubbed from the Aussie Test Side

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QLD BULLShit: Banana Benders Continue to get Snubbed from the Aussie Test Side

by The Banana Bender Dribbler

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With the controversial selection of Travis Head over Usman Khawaja being released this week by our nation’s new fast bowling skipper, it raises the question. Why do Bulls players constantly get overlooked by the national selectors?

Sure, we have Marnus ripping and tearing on an international scale but our sunshine state produces far more talent than the 9% of test spots we currently occupy. To put that in perspective Blues players account for 54% of our first ashes test IX. 

So where does the problem stem from, are the selectors ‘stateist’ pricks, or do they just have a type and that type is New South Welshman blue-eyed hot boys? Another question is how many runs does a Bulls player actually have to score to lock down a test spot?

Khawaja and Peirson both had the best shield seasons of their careers, averaging 65.71 and 47.67 respectively whilst being overlooked for Travis Head and Alex Carey. The Carey selection should raise eyebrows on stats alone after he averaged 21.86 with the bat this shield season. Combine that with the fact he is a year older than Peirson, who is the superior gloveman out of the two, and you have yourself a state-based conspiracy.

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On the bowling front Michael Neser and Mitch Swepson have been on the cusp of selection for what feels like an eternity but consistently get overlooked for the Blues foursome. Let’s face it, the people at Big Baggy Green have tried to keep the blatant stateist bias out of the public eye for decades but it’s time we exposed it. 

Historically Queensland has produced some elite-level cricketing talent that has been grossly underutilised by the national selectors. The likes of Stuart Law and Martin Love both failed to be given a fair look in the baggy green after averaging 50 at shield level for their whole careers. Law even scored 54 not out in his only innings in the test side before being dropped the following game. 

Though he played 19 tests for Australia, I still am adamant that Andy Bichel could have taken 500 test wickets if he was given an adequate opportunity at the international level. The bloke dismissed Brian Lara four times at a bowling average of 32 and yet holds the unenviable distinction of being the twelfth man for the test side a record 19 times. I rest my case. 

Bulls legends forever, 

Stateist selectors never.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

 

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #320 – 502 Gateway

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Six Possible Venues for the 5th Test That Cricket Australia Won’t Even Consider

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Six Possible Venues for the 5th Test That Cricket Australia Won’t Even Consider

DYOR Dave

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Supreme leader of Western Australia Mark “Mao” McGowan has delivered one of the all-time great bedshits, as he has lost his state the annual 5th Ashes test.

While residents of the hermit state are still coming to terms with this loss, it opens up a unique opportunity to play the final test at a new and exotic location.

I thought I would suggest a few possible options that Cricket Australia could consider if their interests truly lay in growing the game, rather than rewarding whoever throws the most money at them.

 

North Sydney Oval

The Mecca of local Sydney cricket, North Sydney has more history in its sausage stand than most stadiums do in their entire oval.

One of the biggest problems facing Australian sport these days is the lack of connection between the grassroots and the highest levels, so what better way to bridge that gap than to host a game at the 150-year-old ground that just about every dribbler in the city has either kicked a footy or hit a kookaburra on.

Mawson Station Antarctica

Based in Australia’s region of Antarctica, you wouldn’t be wrong in saying it’s as much “in Australia” as Tasmania is.

Despite its temperatures, Antarctica is actually the driest continent, meaning the best chance for 5 uninterrupted days of play. The same unfortunately can’t be said for the mainland with La Niña around.

The dry conditions will also mean a fast pitch and outfield, as well as a lot of bounce for our new captain to show his prowess. It’ll be breaking new ground for the game, and yet another ground in Australia that England can’t win at.

Whitsunday Sports Park

A cricket oval next to a picturesque mountain which is also next to a pristine blue reef? I’m already booking flights. Sure there’s no grandstand, toilets, bar and the car park can barely fit 20, but it’s worth it for the view.

Without overseas travelers, the tourism industry is suffering, so why not get a few thousand dribblers to North Queensland and let them loose on all the rainforests, reefs, towns and footy ovals. What could go wrong? They could even bring their jet skis and watch the game from the water.

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Don Bradman’s childhood oval in Bowral

The omenry at play if Australia were to return to that hallowed turf would probably be so strong that England would fail to make a single run. It’s a no-brainer.

At the Don’s home is where his spiritual powers are the strongest, and he may even be able to enter the body of both Marnus Labuschagne and Steve Smith at the same time, to set up a record-breaking 1000 run partnership.

The embarrassment to England would be so severe Australia would instantly take over the monarchy, with Smith as our King. A yearly public holiday will be celebrated in his honour, and England will go on to lose every test for the next decade.

Christmas Island

Just like Tasmania, Christmas Island is part of Australia, but also not really. Unlike Tasmania, it’s home to a beautiful warm climate, lush rainforests and a host of rare and unique animals.

Christmas Island could really do with a PR glow-up and hosting the 5th Ashes test would definitely bring back a bit of the holiday spirit that earned the island its merry name.

Located about 1000km northwest of Broome, the tropical weather and hot conditions will no doubt prove difficult for the poms to handle, giving Australia an unnecessary yet enjoyable advantage.

The SCG

Give me another test. I want to see more live test cricket. 5 days per summer is not nearly enough.

If NSW Premier Dom Perrotett can secure two Sydney tests every year: I, Dyor Dave of Antifa fame, swear to vote Liberal every state election so long as we still see two Sydney tests. that’s how badly I need more test cricket in my life.

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

 

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #320 – 502 Gateway

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A Dribbler’s NRL Off-Season Gradings: Part 1

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A Dribbler’s NRL Off-Season Gradings: Part 1

by Finn Stephens

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Well, here we are. As we look back on the 2021 NRL season in the rearview mirror, we find ourselves in this awkward time before the summer of cricket where the punter and dribbler are yearning for some sport to yarn about. Apparently, there was rugby union on the other night, but honestly who the fuck knows. And who the fuck cares. This sporting hiatus leaves only one logical thing for a dribbler like myself to do, which is to cast my untrained and very unqualified eye over each team and grade them on each of their respective off-season’s. Extra mayo included of course.

Brisbane Broncos B+

There’s something brewing north of the border. As any Broncos fan will attest to, it’s been a hard slog the last couple of years as they have descended in dramatic fashion to the cellar dwellers of the competition. Something that has stood out has been their leadership, or lack thereof, that has had fans growing extremely worried. 

Mix that with the colossal overs they have paid for players such as Milford, Lodge and Tevita Pangai and the release of Reece Walsh of being selected for origin after 8 games fame, it’s been a forgetful stretch for the once-proud Broncos. A positive is their roster is filled with young throbbers, such as Staggs, Haas and Carrigan who just need a big dick to follow around. Well, they’ve got themselves one in Adam Reynolds. After leading the bunnies to the big dance, Reynolds was amazingly released in a bed shit for the ages, prompting the Broncos recruitment to swoop and get the leader they have been after.

 Reynolds, paired with Origin backrower Kurt Capewell who loves receiving good nut through holes (DYOR, or don’t…) and the steely Ryan James add some much-needed experience in Brisbane. Couple that with the acquisition of capable outside backs Jordan Pereira and Brenko Lee and the Bronx have had themselves a sterling off-season. Sure, they won’t be competition juggernauts straight away. Sure, the loss of Xavier Coates to a Melbourne Storm system that creates stars out of fringe first graders, let alone Origin stars, may well haunt them for years to come. But hey, you’ve got to start somewhere right?

Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs – A

Now, you Broncos’ fans think you’ve had it hard? Spare a thought to the poor Doggies fans, who have had next to nothing to cheer about in what seems like forever. On top of picking up another spoon for the cabinet room this year, they lost arguably their best two players in Adam Elliot and Adam Elliot’s hog to a couple of classic rugby league scandals which poor Adam had no involvement in. But as we know, the hog has a mind of its own. Pair that with the sacking of Lachlan Lewis through the worst joke of all time, with further investigation alluding to young Lachlan deemed stealing whilst looking for an extra quid on eBay. I found it surprising that the Bulldogs frowned so heavily at Lewis’ act of theft, as Trent Barrett had been stealing pay cheques all year as he impersonated a head coach and no one batted an eyelid. Sorry Baz, but with the greatest respect, I just don’t think you get coaching. But, the Bulldogs got a man who does. 

Phil Gould, who we all know to be a fucking operator, joined the club and has already brought in some big names. Villiame Kikau and Reed Mahoney have both been acquired for the 2023 season and are massive coups in their respective rights, Mahoney in particular. The Dogs have yearned for a quality rake and they have nailed it on the head with Reed. While I may have been harsh on Barrett, I can’t knock his decision to sign Matt Burton, who in my opinion has what it takes to be one of the stars of this decade. He’s a footballer this kid. Pair him with representative star Josh Addo-Carr, former Australian thickie Paul Vaughan of Vaul Paughan fame, little Matt Dufty and Tevita Pangai Junior and the Bulldogs look very much on the up. They still desperately need an established halfback, but these next couple of years could start something special in Canterbury.

sad-raiders

 

Canberra Raiders – C-

The Raiders are built on resilience, durability and toughness, but not enough of these qualities were shown during their dismal 2021 which was evidently impacted by the loss of Englishman Jonneh Bateman and Georgey Williams. With countless Ricky blowups, we saw a team that had so much promise just look so painfully mediocre it hurt. Therefore, with no notable losses going into 2022 bar Williams, the Green Machine were in the market for an experienced and hardened halfback and they found him in former Titans captain Jamal Fogarty. Fogarty should complement the spine of Wighton, Charnze Nickoll-Klokstad and as for Hodgson, well, if he passes to you 50% of the time that’s the best you’ll get. If you don’t get what I mean, watch any Raiders game last year. Pass the ball Josh!! Bringing in Adam Elliot and his accompanying hog for unders is another smart move by the Milk, bolstering an already strong pack. With the resigning of some real talent in Sebastian Kris, Xavier Savage and Hudson Young, 2022 should see the men in green return to former glory. For our sake and for Ricky’s.

 

Cronulla Sharks – A+

This is how you off-season. That we do know. Off the back of an underwhelming year in the Shire, where head coach John Morris was sacked in a shock mid-season move which brought in professional care taker Josh Hannay to steady the ship, there wasn’t a whole lot to take from 2021. Losing Shaun Johnson wasn’t ideal, but with the money freed up between him, Aaron Woods (Dragons) and Josh Dugan (Retired) the Sharks hit the open market with bills falling out of their pockets, resembling Tom and Eddy with the corporate dollar. Coupled with the signing of new head coach, the highly touted Craig Fitzgibbons and a lot of lead was starting to fill up the Shire faithful’s collective pencils. The pencils near exploded at the announcement of Dale Finucane and Cam Mccinnes hopping on board, bringing on two men you can bring home to Mum and Dad. These blokes will tackle their dicks off, have captained each of their respective former clubs and are Origin players every day of the fucking week. The next signing had made the Shire’s pencil so full of lead I’m pretty sure it is in the same company as Timmy Paine’s a few years ago, as Nicho Hynes of always wet hair fame signed on for 3 years. With the resigning’s of names such as Rudolf, Tracey, Kennedy, Trindall and Talakai, the Sharks are showing the rest of the NRL how the fuck to off season. Be careful of the men from the Shire, they could be in with a real sniff.

 

Gold Coast Titans – C

As a staunch Titans supporter, I’m still conflicted as to whether 2021 was a success. Sure, we made the 8, but we made it with the worst record of any team to do so. Our big-name players mostly delivered, with Tino and Fifita largely carrying us through the year. Unfortunately, with the amount of cash spent on last year’s signings, the Gold Coast don’t have much to report on. A couple of integral losses to the side, such as skipper Jamal Fogarty and Tyrone Peachey hurt but are mostly sweetened by the resigning of some absolute young stars -Aj Brimson, Moeki Fotuaika, Jayden Campbell and Brian Kelly all extending their stay on the glitter strip. Aaron Booth, of backup to the backup to the backup number 9 at the Storm, has a chance to own the hooker role. That is unless the Cheese signs on. If your reading this Smithy and I know you are, come to the Titans mate. You’ll love it here. A C may be a tad bias some may say, but you didn’t come here for expert analysis, did you?

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Manly Sea Eagles – C+

Manly have been quiet on the recruitment front, but what do they need? When you’ve got a Tommy, everything else falls into place. With no note-worthy inclusions into their squad (Ethan Bullemor if you are really desperate), Manly have looked to their own backyard and resigned a bunch of their elite young core. Schuster, Harper, Garrick, Olakau’atu and Keppie just to name a few. They get docked a few grades on the dribbler scale due to some notable losses – Cade Cust, which could hurt them in the future when he returns with a couple of Man of Steel, Curtis Sironen who still has some good footy in front of him but chased crumpet and Moses Suli of rugby league handful fame. Whilst they have cover in these positions, Manly could find themselves struggling for depth at times as injury and the inevitable Origin selections for these young throbbers come about. Still, it’s a very good time to be a Manly fan.

 

Newcastle Knights D+

Joey’s back. It just feels right. That’s about all that feels right at Newcastle at the moment. On paper, the Knights are still a top 8 side. After their 2021, which was if I can so eloquently put it – meh, the Knights needed to make some big moves. I’m not sure an aging Dane Gagai and Dragons backup half Adam Clune are in fact those big moves. While the resigning of a host of stars such as Bradmen Best, the Saifiti brothers and co-captain Jayden Brailey paint a pleasant image, the losses of Mitchell Pearce and Connor Watson do not. An aging Pearce has gone abroad to the famous Catalans Dragons to chase crumpet, whilst Watson was caught up in apparent hardships in his relationship with the new prince of Newcastle, Kalyn Ponga. Whatever the reason for Watson’s signing with the Chooks, he is a massively underrated loss to the Knights who need his attacking flair and defensive passion. With the Knights attack severely underwhelming in 2021, the Ponga and Dolphins rumors circulating and losing two of their most integral players, I worry how much the people of the Hunter are relying on Joey. 

 

Wests Tigers – D

I don’t know if I could even be bothered. News flash – the Tigers are shit and will continue to be shit for the foreseeable future. The Tigers 2021 was another forgettable one, as the same culprits played average football that resulted in average results. The Tigers don’t look like rectifying these results anytime soon, with their only pickups of note being Tyrone Peachey, Jackson Hastings and Oliver Gildart for 2022. Isiah Papali’i is a brilliant signing for 2023 but worries me in the sense he will be in a team that is so diabolically bad, he will just have to tackle all 80 minutes. Losing Luciano Leilua isn’t ideal but shedding the enormous contracts of Moses Mbye and Russell Packer must bring a sigh of relief to the DMC Tigers. They have to get a big name soon. If not and Jackson Hastings isn’t a raging success, the Tigers are on their merry way to have another poor season. It’s a lot of pressure on young Jackson. At least he has Luke Brooks.

 

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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Egg Boy is Now a Covid Protesting Anti-Vax Conspiracist

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Egg Boy is Now a Covid Protesting Anti-Vax Conspiracist

DYOR Dave

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In 2019, 17-year-old Will Connolly rose to fame after he smashed an egg on the head of far-right senator Fraser Anning, who was at the time blaming the Christchurch shooting on Muslim Immigrants. Known as “Egg Boy,” Will quickly became an icon of anti-fascism and anti-racism as for a tiny period of Australian history, there was hope for our youth.

Now, just over two years later and Egg Boy has completed a backflip that would rival even Matthew Mitcham’s gold medal effort at the 2008 Olympics. In recent days he’s been spotted at anti-vax protests fraternising with alt-right figures like Avi Yemini, all while spouting platitudes about “love and compassion.”

Now 19, Connolly is no longer a squeaky-faced teenager in the throes of puberty, instead looking like he’s fresh off an alternative wellness retreat in the Byron hinterlands, complete with long hair and a biblical chin-tickler. It’s been a shockingly quick transition for Connolly, who just 6 months ago was helping with bushfire regeneration projects in Kangaroo island alongside Magda Szubanski.

After trending on Twitter for his surprising appearance at the protests, he was forced to clarify his standpoint in an Instagram video, in which he denied being an anti-vaxxer, saying “vaccines obviously play a big role in society… vaccines can save lives.” However, he didn’t actually mention whether he was vaccinated or not, instead deciding to rail against “the creation of second class citizens” out of those who refuse to get vaccinated.

 

 

Here’s a tip Egg Boy, the only people creating second-class citizens are those in full health who refuse to get vaccinated, and declare themselves oppressed because of it. His video contained the same vague rhetoric prevalent throughout the anti-vax movement, attacking the media and saying people should be united instead of divided, as well as criticising the health response for not offering tips like “Have more vitamin C to boost up your immune system, get oxytocin from hugging people.”

While he’s still far from coming full circle and turning into a racist neo-nazi, his Instagram account features the promotion of some pretty strange alternative science, which can be a slippery slope if not navigated carefully. It’s unclear whether his paradoxical straddling of anti-racism and anti-science attitudes will help other anti-vaxxers reconcile their own racist attitudes, or if he’ll continue down this trajectory and end up declaring himself a “sovereign citizen” and claiming himself as an oppressed minority.

He appears to be quite taken by the idea of vibrational energy, where different emotions and thought patterns create different frequencies. Despite this concept having little to no scientific evidence, Connolly’s Instagram bio details the frequencies for anxiety (369hz), self-worth (528hz) and self-love (639hz). Unfortunately, he hasn’t detailed the frequencies he was subjected to that allowed him to believe this hogwash in the first place (420hz).

 

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

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