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Unqualified Opinion

January 20 2022

Feel the Rhythm Feel The Rhyme! Jamaican Bobsled Team Qualifies for Beijing Winter Olympics Copy

hsadmin Unqualified Opinion Bobsled, Cool Runnings, Jamaica

Feel the Rhythm Feel The Rhyme! Jamaican Bobsled Team Qualifies for Beijing Winter Olympics

DYOR Dave

In just over two weeks, the Winter Olympics will kick off in Beijing, and although much of the attention has been on the political tensions that surround the games, there is a far happier narrative emerging from the Caribbean.

For the first time since 1998, a four-man Jamaican Bobsled team has qualified for the Winter Olympics, as well as qualifying in two-man and woman’s monobob for the first time.

While their best result so far was 14th in 1994, the team is hopeful that they can make their nation proud across all three events this year.

The four-man sled will be captained by former military officer Shanwayne Stephens, who garnered attention during lockdown with his exercise routine of pushing a Mini Cooper through the city streets.

The Bobsled team first qualified in 1988 for the Calgary Olympics but finished 30th out of 41 nations after crashing during their last run.

Despite this, they gained popularity due to their loveable misfit status which led to other nations donating more modern sleigh parts to the Jamaican team.

Their unlikely story inspired the 1993 film Cool Runnings, which has since shone a spotlight on Jamaican Winter Olympic Athletes and gained the tropical nation a tremendous following around the world every four years.

Since then, the Bobsled team has competed in a handful of Olympic Games, including 2014 which they may have not attended were it not for a crowdfunding campaign set up by the Dogecoin Cryptocurrency community.

The Bobsled events will kick off on the 13th of February, and it’s fair to say that as the Jamaicans line up to compete, there will be chants around the world of “I see Pride, I see Power, I see a badass mother who don’t take no crap from nobody!”

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #332 – Burning Candles

January 18 2022

Feel the Rhythm Feel The Rhyme! Jamaican Bobsled Team Qualifies for Beijing Winter Olympics

hsadmin Unqualified Opinion Bobsled, Cool Runnings, Jamaica

Feel the Rhythm Feel The Rhyme! Jamaican Bobsled Team Qualifies for Beijing Winter Olympics

DYOR Dave

For the first time since 1998, a four-man Jamaican Bobsled team has qualified for the Winter Olympics, as well as qualifying in two-man and woman’s monobob for the first time.

While their best result so far was 14th in 1994, the team is hopeful that they can make their nation proud across all three events this year.

The four-man sled will be captained by former military officer Shanwayne Stephens, who garnered attention during lockdown with his exercise routine of pushing a Mini Cooper through the city streets.

The Bobsled team first qualified in 1988 for the Calgary Olympics but finished 30th out of 41 nations after crashing during their last run.

Despite this, they gained popularity due to their loveable misfit status which led to other nations donating more modern sleigh parts to the Jamaican team.

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #332 – Burning Candles

January 18 2022

7 Songs That Need to Replace Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi!

hsadmin Unqualified Opinion anthem, aussie oi!, australia, chants, crowd, Dribble, national, oi, song, songs

7 Songs That Need to Replace Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi!

by DMC Duggs

During high school I recall my year 7 history teacher saying something along the lines of, “Australians can only remember two words, and that’s why our only sporting chant is “Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi”.

The teacher was taken out the back by the principal and was shot in front of the class for spinning such sacreligious dribble against our great sporting nation. However, this anecdote and Eddy’s yarn on Thursday did make me wonder…

What other songs could we use as Australian sporting chants?

1. I Still Call Australia Home – Peter Allan

When Peter Allan isn’t going to Rio, he loves making the corporate dollar off this song that was used for Qantas’ late 90s to mid-2000s Marketing campaign. I can see this song being used in away fixtures, as it highlights the many perks of other countries, whilst still singing the praises of Australia. I feel like the lyrics are even more relevant during the current covid epidemic with it bringing out a strong sense of pride in our country, whilst making us remember our loved ones who are currently living overseas.

2. Waltzing Matilda – Banjo Paterson

Waltzing Matilda is so inherently Australian, in its sound, in its jargon and in spirit that it needs to be considered for this list. The song was so powerful that it was used during before Wallabies’ matches to rival the Haka. It was removed from Rugby in 2003 as it apparently encourages sheep rustling. The removal of Waltzing matilda highlights once again that Rugby Australia is out of touch with Punter and the Dribbler and may be one of the reasons for the downfall of Rugby in this great nation.

3. I Am Australian – The Seekers

A beautiful song that pays tribute to the diverse characters in Australian folklore. The song has a contagious hook that has the crowd repeating:

“We are one, but we are many

And from all the lands on earth we come

We’ll share a dream and sing with one voice

I am, you are, we are Australian”

4. Home among the gum trees – John Williamson

This country jingle pays homage to a modest outback lifestyle and is unapologetically Australian in its lyrics and in its delivery. Do your own research, but the song was rumoured to be written as a comedic replacement of “God Save the Queen” and was later picked up by John Williamson. The outback anthem was sung by the Australian players during NRL 9s and was the theme song for Burke’s Backyard.

5. Thunderstruck – AC/DC

In my opinion, “Thunderstruck” is the best Australian song that is arguably used more outside of Australia, than it is inside Australia. As it has made cameos in “Iron Man 2”, “The Longest Yard”, “Deadpool 2” and is the pregame song for the Dallas Cowboys. The songs opening guitar riff and the thunder chant would excite even the tamest of sports fans, as the song sends chills down the spine of the Punter and the Dribbler. Tim Tszyu used it as his walkout song before the Takeshi Inoue fight, and some even argue that the fight was already over as soon as they heard the first “THUNDER”. It would without doubt be a welcomed anthem, for the punter and the dribbler to cheer, before the Aussies demolish their opposition into oblivion.

6. Come on Aussie Come on

Manufactured in the labs of Australian marketing geniuses Alan Morris and Allan Johnston (Mojo), this catchy jingle is a major reason for the acceptance of World Series Cricket in Australia. As the hook is very similar to Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi, its lyrics go into fine detail about the iconic 1979 Australian team, creating excitement in the fans and making them forget about the World Series Cricket war.

7. Down Under – Men at Work

Whether it’s the opening sound of metal pipes, being offered a vegemite sandwich, or the message of “you better run, you better take cover”. This song for me is criminally underused in the Australian sporting landscape and would make the ideal chant. Historically, Down Under was used after Australia II’s victory in the America’s Cup, the closing ceremony of the 2000 Sydney Olympics, and during the credits of “Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles”. I personally experienced the sporting euphoria of this song, as “Down Under” played after the Socceroos won the 2015 Asian Cup Final in extra time, where 80,000 fans sang along to this captivating anthem.

Is there any songs that I have missed, or should an Australian sporting team change their name to “The Thunder” and play “Thunderstruck” and “Down Under” on repeat?

Beers soon

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #332 – Burning Candles

January 15 2022

England Complete Their Ashes Humiliation by Begging to Let Their Players into the Sheffield Shield

hsadmin Unqualified Opinion australia, cricket, england, England players, sheffield shield, Test, Tom Harrison

England Complete Their Ashes Humiliation by Begging to Let Their Players into the Sheffield Shield

DYOR Dave

Over the last two months, Australia have unequivocally alpha’d England in some of the most one-sided tests ever played in the Ashes.

Now, almost as if the humiliation of losing the series wasn’t enough, England have stooped even lower and had their daddy write a letter asking to please let their boys play with the Australians.

Chief Executive of the English Cricket Board Tom Harrison has written to Cricket Australia asking to allow English players to compete in the Sheffield Shield competition alongside their Australian superiors.

Citing England’s poor ashes performance, Harrison was quick to blame his players’ lack of experience in Australia as a reason for their catastrophic demise, saying “The reality is we need to be spending a lot more time with players in Australian conditions.”

These comments come after Harrison attempted to frame England’s Ashes loss and current form slump as a “brilliant opportunity for us to come together as a game and really sort that once and for all.”

Having just announced an official review of this series, the addition of English players into Sheffield Shield is one of many suggestions being put forward to salvage their once-proud cricketing nation.

While its not uncommon for Australians to spend a few seasons in English county cricket, the small amount of Sheffield Shield teams means it’s rare to see an Englishman down under.

Furthermore, the focus of Shield cricket lies more in the development of Test players, whereas county cricket has much more emphasis on overall club success.

Reports suggest Cricket Australia are currently drafting a response to the letter, however, are struggling due to their uncontrollable laughter at England’s pathetic predicament.

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #331 – Purveyors of Fine Rom-Commery

January 14 2022

An Asteroid is Passing Dangerously Close to Earth Next Week, so Maybe Bring your Washing Inside

hsadmin Unqualified Opinion Asteroid, Comet, earth, Meteor, Nasa, planet, Space

An Asteroid is Passing Dangerously Close to Earth Next Week, so Maybe Bring your Washing Inside

DYOR Dave

NASA has confirmed that a one-kilometre wide asteroid is making a close pass to earth next week, and although it’s unlikely that it will collide with our planet, they’re prepared nonetheless.

The asteroid, which is known by its nickname 7482 (1994 PC1), will make its closest approach to earth in 200 years at 8am on the 19th of January.

It will come within 2 million kilometres of earth, which may sound pretty far away, but it’s about 200 times closer than Mars.

Unfortunately, due to the daylight and distance, we won’t be able to see it pass by with the naked eye.

Asteroids or comets are considered “Near-Earth” by NASA when they come within 48 million km of our planet, and this is one of the largest and closest in recent years.

The existential dread of suffering the same fate as our dinosaur predecessors has forced NASA to plan for the worst-case scenario.

In November last year, the space agency launched the Double Asteroid Redirection Test (DART) which will aim to crash into a small comet and attempt to blow it off its course.

Despite the target being small, the DART will hopefully prove that a life-threatening asteroid could be avoided with a perfectly-timed collision.

The most recent asteroid to hit earth occurred in 2013 when a 13,000-tonne meteor collided with the atmosphere above Chelyabinsk, Russia and disintegrated above the city.

The resulting shockwave caused over 100 injuries, damaged over 7,000 buildings and was felt for hundreds of kilometres in each direction.

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #331 – Purveyors of Fine Rom-Commery

January 13 2022

That Fucken Umpire Better Buy Bernie Dinner

hsadmin Unqualified Opinion Aus Open, Australian Open, Bernard Tomic, covid, dinner, Umpire

That Fucken Umpire Better Buy Bernie Dinner

Intern Brayden

A bet’s a bet bra!

The Bernard Tomic comeback train has well and truly captured the hearts and minds of Australians as well as the world at large.

Unfortunately, the train was derailed almost immediately as the former child prodigy went out in the first round of the Australian Open qualifiers 6-1, 6-4 to some random dude.

Haters rolled their collective eyes as Bernard, in the midst of getting pounded into the centre of the earth, played the covid card, going as far as to make a bet with the umpire saying, “I’ll buy you dinner if I don’t test positive in three days, otherwise you buy me dinner.”

Well, it’s time to pay up bruz! As of some time today Bernie returned a positive test for the spicy cough. The man clearly knows his body and that court umpire now owes Bernard a 3-courser. Something tells me Bernard is a Michelin Star type operator and will not be cashing in with a pile of lettuce. Tomahawk steaks soon.

#wildcardforbernard

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #330 – Small Town 10’s

January 13 2022

TRUST THE SCIENCE: Study Shows Cannabis Can Protect You from COVID-19

hsadmin Unqualified Opinion Coronavirus, covid, Cure, marijuana, treatment, weed

TRUST THE SCIENCE: Study Shows Cannabis Can Protect You from COVID-19

DYOR Dave

In this fast-changing world where new outbreaks and variants are emerging all around us, it’s important for everyone’s safety to keep up to date with the latest scientific treatments and studies.

Researchers from the Oregon State University have discovered compounds in the cannabis plant that can both protect individuals from infection, and treat symptoms of the virus.

These compounds, Cannabigerolic acid (CBGA), and cannabidiolic acid (CBDA), bind to the spike protein of the virus and stop it from penetrating cells and causing infection.

Here at the Hello Sport experimental virology lab, I’ve been conducting similar personal studies which have yielded positive results. Through regular doses of the cannabinoid compounds administered through the respiratory system over the last two years, I have managed to stay healthy and safe without contracting COVID-19. The results speak for themselves.

With this unsurprising revelation, it seems obvious that the government should not only legalise the medically beneficial substance, but also begin distributing it for free.

It’s rumoured that an advertising campaign is currently in development that centres around the slogan #ConesForCovid and encourages Australians to act selflessly, do their bit for the nation, and rip a few hong kong’s.

While there has been much debate and controversy over alleged cures like ivermectin and hydroxychloroquine, scientists are certain that this cure is not only safe and effective, but enjoyable as well.

Chief researcher Richard Van Breemen said that the compounds are “effective against the two variants we looked at, and we hope that trend will extend to other existing and future variants.”

While this discovery brings optimism in the face of potential future mutations of the virus, he also reccomends a “combination of vaccination and CBDA/CBGA treatment,” to properly protect from COVID-19.

Studies are currently being undertaken to determine whether the addition of Gummy bears, Doritos or McFlurries will assist in protecting individuals from the virus.

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #330 – Small Town 10’s

January 12 2022

9 Serbian People I’d Rather See in the News Everyday than Novak Djokovic

hsadmin Unqualified Opinion Border Force, court case, Deported, Jelena Dokic, Novak Djokovic, Serbia

9 Serbian People I’d Rather See in the News Everyday than Novak Djokovic

DYOR Dave

Serbia, it’s a beautiful country with a long and interesting history full of wonderfully unique people.
Unfortunately, if you were to ask the average dribbler these days what he knows about the country, chances are they’ll come up with one name, Novak.

For better or for worse Novak Djokovic has become the face of Serbia, but with so many other notable people that have helped to build the country in the last century, I thought there are far more deserving Serbian faces that should be plastered on our screens relentlessly.

Nikola Tesla – Scientist

One of the greatest minds in history, Tesla’s experiments dazzled audiences around the world and laid the groundwork for many of the devices we take for granted today. More than just a scientist, Niko was a well renowned dribbler and loved to invent cool shit. He created a remote control boat, wireless lightbulbs, giant lightning machines, and he once made Mark twain shit himself using an earthquake machine at his lab. With his face appearing on the $100 Serbian note, Tesla still holds supremacy over Novak, and doesn’t look like losing it anytime soon.

The Pink Panthers – Jewel Theives

This international network of jewellery thieves used their military training from the Bosnian war to execute some of the most unbelievable heists in history, reportedly stealing over half a billion dollars worth of jewellery since 2003. Fleeing police on speedboats, escaping from maximum-security prisons, and smuggling diamonds in ice cream tubs, are just some of the tricks these ingenious Serbs used to steal jewellery around the world. I saw we bring them here and let them loose! I’d rather see Serbian jewellery heists on the front page than Serbian tennis players.

Check out the Pink Panthers stealing $5 million worth of Jewellery in 2 minutes

Jelena Dokic – Non-controversial Tennis Player

Jelena Dokic made history as a 16-year-old in 1999 when she upset Martina Hingis in straight sets, becoming the only qualifier to ever beat the world #1 at Wimbledon. During her career, she’s represented Australia, Yugoslavia, and Serbia and Montenegro, and her family lived in Serbia prior to immigrating to Australia. Despite tremendous hype following her stunning form as a teenager, Dokic never went on to make a grand slam final, as well as finishing fourth in the Sydney Olympics. Throughout her career, she kept a low profile and promoted a positive image for both Serbian and Australian tennis, unlike some others.

Natasha Williams – Neighbours

Played by Serbian-Australian actress Valentina Novakovic, Natasha made her impact on Ramsay street in 2010 when she lied about being 18 to become a model and caught the attention of Andrew, whom she ended up dating. During this relationship, she again lied about being pregnant in order to stop her boyfriend from breaking up with her. Were these writing decisions a racist stereotype of Serbians or merely a coincidence? Her character left the show in 2013 to travel through Europe and hasn’t since returned, rumours suggest her re-entry may have been denied due to a lie on her customs form.

Gavrilo Princip – Assasin

Born just before the turn of the 20th century to a peasant Serb family, Princip went on to change the world perhaps more than anyone else in modern history with one woefully executed assassination. In 1914, with tensions at breaking point in Europe, Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria was touring Sarajevo in a motorcade. Gavrilo and five of his armed pals were lined up along the road awaiting the duke. After the first man chickened out, the second lobbed a grenade, missing the car and causing a panic that allowed Ferdinand to get away. Later that day, after visiting victims from the grenade blast, his private driver stalled the car outside a cafe, where our friend Gav happened to be sitting. Two gunshots and a whole lot of political scrambling later, war was declared, and despite his death in prison four years later, Gavrilo is commemorated with a museum at his home which has been destroyed and rebuilt three times due to conflicting governments.

Kristina Peric – Victoria’s secret model

It was unanimously agreed by myself and my colleagues during a 12-hour layover in Serbia’s capital on the way home from rippin’ and tearin’ in Europe, that Serbian women were easily the most beautiful out of any country we had ever stepped foot in. It was surprising to say the least, why is no one else talking about this? Were we delusional from a month’s worth of drugs and alcohol or were we finally seeing clearly for the first time? The moral of the story is, if I awoke to seeing Serbian models on the front page of news websites instead of Serbian tennis players, my days would start off a lot better.

Peter Blagojević – Vampire

Born in what is now Serbia, Peter Blagojević was accused of 9 murders in 1725, despite the fact he had died weeks previously. His alleged victims reported seeing visions of him in the nights leading up to their own demise, and villagers jumped to the most obvious conclusion, Peter was a vampire. Naturally, they exhumed his body and were shocked to find freshly grown hair and nails, as well as fresh blood that spurted out as they drove a stake through his heart. This case was one of the first documented reports of a vampire in Eastern Europe, and as the tale spread far and wide, it initiated a vampire craze in Western Europe during the 18th century. Now there’s a headline.

Vesna Vulović – World Record Holder

This Serbian flight attendant made headlines in 1972 when her airplane was struck by a bomb, leaving her the only survivor out of 28 passengers. As a result of this, she currently holds the Guinness world record for surviving the highest fall without a parachute, dropping 10km out of the air into a snowy mountainside. Miraculously, she was able to walk 16 months later, although with a limp, and used her fame towards political activism up until her death in 2016. She attributed her longevity to “Serbian stubbornness,” which may explain some of Novak’s behaviour as well.

Joska Broz – Serbian Politician

The grandson of renowned Yugoslav leader Josep Tito, Broz carries on his family’s legacy as leader of the Serbian Communist party, and part of Serbia’s coalition government. He had a modest upbringing where he worked as a forester and a metal worker, before turning towards politics and campaigning for education, workers’ rights and better healthcare. Sure, some Australian’s may not agree with his political views, but I bet he can run a border operation better than this bunch, and I reckon people are willing to give anything a shot at this point.

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #330 – Small Town 10’s

January 11 2022

Novak, Sinatra, Snoop Dogg, Pistol and Boo: A History of Australia’s Rejects

hsadmin Unqualified Opinion Border Force, court case, Deported, Frank Sinatra, Immigration, Novak Djokovic, Pistol Boo, Snoop Dogg, Tyler the creator, visa

Novak, Sinatra, Snoop Dogg, Pistol and Boo: A History of Australia’s Rejects

DYOR Dave

For those of you living under a rock, metaphorical or otherwise, #1 tennis player in the world Novak Djokovic recently had to endure a few hours of the calamity that is Australia’s Border Force. After initially being told he was able to play in the Australian Open, his visa was then cancelled after public uproar. Then, in a sensational turn of events, a federal judge overturned the cancellation of Djokovic’s visa and granted him free passage to enter Australia.

While Novak wasn’t lucky enough to land himself an extended stay in immigration detention like the hundreds of refugees unlawfully imprisoned offshore, his situation made global headlines as Australia’s questionable processes were once again put in the spotlight.

Novak’s case is the latest in a number of high-profile controversies involving global celebrities and Australia’s border and visa laws. However, the vast majority of these have involved musicians, political activists, or dogs.

In 2007, Snoop Dogg had his visa denied due to criminal offences involving drugs and firearms, and was forced to cancel his tour. 4 years later he was back in the country touring, and another 10 after that, Snoop was plastered all over our screens flogging food delivery apps.

It seems the border police can be forgiving when they want to be. In 2015, rapper Tyler, The Creator cancelled his tour after a campaign was waged against his music for alleged themes of domestic violence. 5 years later, he was headlining Sydney’s Field Day festival.

In recent years, the most notable of these instances involved Johnny Depp and Amber Heard smuggling their Yorkshire terriers, Pistol and Boo, into the country. Blatantly violating our strict and necessary biosecurity protocols, the actors were given an ultimatum by then Agriculture Minister Barnaby Joyce, of Beetroot fame.

The dogs were to be removed from the country in 50 hours or they would be euthanised. The world was once again shown that Australia doesn’t mess around when it comes to who the government feels like letting in to the country.

Floyd Mayweather Jr, Chris Brown, and Skepta are among others who have been barred from visiting our shores, but one man’s memorable trip in 1974 will be forever etched into Australian folklore.

In 1974 Frank Sinatra was nearly stranded and democratically deported from Australia during his tour, after his comments about Journalists set off a chaotic backlash that took over the nation. On his first Aussie tour in over a decade, Sinatra refused to speak to the press, who desperately tried to reach the crooner by following his motorcades and hounding him outside hotels and venues.

Having had enough, Sinatra let loose an on-stage tirade in Melbourne where he likened female journalists to prostitutes while slagging the profession as a whole. His comments couldn’t have been worse timed, with Australia at that time in the flows of second-wave feminism as well as a strong union movement under PM Gough Whitlam.

Musicians, roadies, stage crew and transport workers all banded together to stop his tour dead in its tracks. Unions released statements demanding an apology, but were met with a similar demand from Sinatra, who wanted an apology for “15 years of shit from the press” or he would be leaving the country. After airport workers refused to fuel his plane, it seemed a stalemate had been reached, and only one man could break the deadlock.

Bob Hawke, at that time President of the Australian Council of Trade Unions, went to meet with Sinatra’s manager, armed with a box of cigars and a bottle of cognac. A few hours later, after Hawke had become “half pissed, almost legless,” an agreement was reached, with Sinatra and the workers agreeing to disagree and allowing the tour to continue.

So what can we learn from the latest in the long saga of Australian visitors being shunned by our people and our government? Well for starters it’s clear that more sense goes into deciding which outdated pop song is played at the end of each BBL over than into deciding who is allowed into our country.

But with such a high profile, one must wonder if Border Force love creating headlines where they’re the star? Or do the media love running stories and drumming up controversy about visitors to our country? Perhaps it’s the people that love to take down an international star (especially when its someone as universally despised as Novak or Chris Brown)

One thing is for certain, if Novak wasn’t already public enemy #1 at this tournament, he sure is now. Despite his judicial victory, the government still has the power to revoke Djokovic’s visa on character grounds, and rumours suggest that officials are waiting until right before his first serve to drag him from the court and deport him. Border Force will once again be making headlines across the world, and other outspoken individuals will learn the important lesson. Don’t mess with Australia.

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #330 – Small Town 10’s

January 10 2022

Hogline Bowling – Controversial Aussie strategy or Just Useless English Batting?

hsadmin Unqualified Opinion 2022, 708, Ashes, australia, cricket, england, hit in box, hit in groin, hit in nuts, Joe Root, Pat Cummins, Shane Keith Warne, Spin

Hogline Bowling – Controversial Aussie strategy or Just Useless English Batting?

DYOR Dave

90 years ago, the English cricket team executed a tactic that would forever change the way the game is played, taking aim at the batsmen themselves rather than the wickets, in a phenomenon dubbed ‘Bodyline.’

At a time when global tension was rising, the move tested diplomatic relationships between Australia and England, and now after almost a century, the Aussies may have sought their revenge.

It started with an unusual injury to England captain Joe Root in the “lower abdominal” region suffered during a nets session on day four of the second test in Adelaide.

Despite the semantic misdirection from the poms, it was clear that Root had been hit right where no man wants to be hit, the hog.

While scans revealed that no major damage had been done, the strength of his hog and surrounding accessories were tested once again when Mitchel Starc fired a 140km/h rocket straight into Joe Root’s middle wicket.

Soon after recovering from his second ball-on-ball incident of the day, Root edged a ball to Alex Carey, and with that, the Aussie Hogline strategy had taken its first victim.

Looking back on it, the mission was simple: Neutralise Joe Root by depriving him of that which gives his name substance, or in layman’s terms, make sure Joe can never root again.

He was again targeted on Day 3 of the 3rd test in Melbourne, this time by Pat Cummins during the devastating innings that saw England bowled out for 68.

His torrid series continued in Sydney where he was struck again early on day 5 and dismissed soon after for 24.

Dealing with the former #1 test batter in the world is no easy task, and although Australia’s strategy may seem unsportsmanlike, it’s important to remember that England were the ones who initiated this war of tactics back in 1932, and Australia are merely responding in the same vein.

However, critics of the Hogline theory will point to England’s woeful batting performance across the entire series as evidence against a purposeful Australian strategy to inflict further pain.

With only one player managing a century the entire series, one could easily argue that English batters are simply unable to suitably protect themselves against the might of Australian pace bowling.

With Johnny Bairstow and Jos Buttler both carrying injuries resulting from a failure to properly play a shorter pitched delivery, a pattern was beginning to emerge that reflected the woes of the English, rather than the malice of the Aussies.

No one can be certain whether the targeting of English crown jewels was a deliberate tactic or not, and the controversial tactic is sure to incite disapproval from the mainstream cricket community, just as bodyline did in the 1930’s.

However, if history was to repeat itself, we may end up seeing the eventual assimilation of hogline strategy into mainstream cricket playbooks, for better or for worse.

Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site

Check out the Latest Hello Sport Podcast episode #329 – Stump Specialists