THE MAYO REPORT: Warne Claims he Helped Mitch Starc Win AB Medal by Motivating Him with Negative Comments

In a not-so-shocking turn of events this week, Shane Warne has revealed to The Mayo Report that he was in fact the key motivation behind Mitchell Starc’s brilliant summer that earned him the Allan Border Medal.

As a commentator, Warne has spent the entirety of the summer making negative comments and under-appreciating the bowling efforts of Mitchell Starc, beginning with his brilliant wicket on the first ball of the summer, after which Warne channeled his inner Stevie Wonder to exclaim “there’s no swing on it.”

While a casual observer may have thought that Warne’s negative sentiments were fuelled by a dislike for the Aussie paceman, he has now vehemently stated that this was part of his genius strategy to secretly coach and improve Starc from afar.

As the self-proclaimed highest authority in Australian cricket, Warne’s approval is seen (by himself) to be the ultimate target for Aussie test players, leading him to devise the innovative strategy that he was certain would pay off.

The Mayo Report was told in an exclusive interview with the spin king, “All the other coaching staff are out here playing 2D chess, I’m playing 8D underwater backgammon and clearly seeing better results.”

Following the release of his new documentary, Warne has ramped up the campaign to earn himself a knighthood, with a rumoured ad campaign to come that features the tagline “Shane Keith Warne is Aussie Cricket.”

When asked by The Mayo Report what his next project would be, Warne had bold ambitions and said “I’m gonna try sort out Will Pucovski’s concussion, this whole CTE thing can’t be too complicated… I’ve done more damage to my brain than most cricketers and I’m still as smart as ever.”

When asked for comment, Starc issued a statement in conjunction with Cricket Australia representatives which simply read, “whatever you say Warnie.”