Covid Recovery Guide – The Dribbler Variant
by Bradley James Kahler
Now that we are in the absolute thick of the covid shit show, there’s a lot of information going around on covid recovery methods for Omicron & Delta. Whilst that is good for the common person, no one has addressed the way to take on the dribbler variant. Here at Hello Sport we take care of the punter and dribbler and suggest the following advice.
Confirmation
You will need to confirm your positive first. Take a rapid test or drive-thru PCR if rapids are not available. In terms of confirming if you have the dribbler variant….. if you’re covid positive and reading this, you’re a dribbler and it has naturally mutated to the dribbler variant.
Sporting fixture
Unfortunately, this information has come at the end of an Ashes series, but in fairness, you’d only get 3 days out of the 7 isolation days available to watch cricket. The good news is the Tennis is starting and Novak is gone. Ride King Kyrgios home with Ash Barty and enjoy quality tennis on Australian courts. Also, try something new that you wouldn’t usually watch. Don’t be scared to watch something new like NFL (tried it today, good viewing) and whatever else is on Kayo, they’ve got plenty. And take in some of the great games from your team’s history to get you through the day. As a manly fan, the 2008 GF has put serious lead in pencil and really combats that sickness.
Sleeping and relaxing
You’ve been hearing Eddy talk about his horizontal work for weeks now and there’s a reason for it……. It’s fucking glorious and does the job. Sleeping can be a bit harsh but a good suggestion is to put on HSP May 26th 2019 Sleep Companion – Sounds Of Rugby League. It’s like the boys could see in the future and realize we would need this more than ever.
Food and Hydration
This will differ from the size range of dribblers, starting at a small size like Dyor Dave to thicc boys like Nilsso. Plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables at the start and once you get your appetite back get onto Uber for some of Colonel Sanders finest and friends of the show, KFC. Hydration wise is a mix of Zooper Doopers, water, Blokes (if you’re up to it) and Dr. V.
Symptoms
The biggest thing I’ve found with covid is the fevers. Luckily we’ve got a perfect equation to deal with them. Hot flushes = Bloke budgy smugglers, cold shivers = bounced out trackies. If you don’t have either, well then there’s bigger issues at hand than your current situation.
For headaches – Panadol and Nurofen should be responsibly pounded into the earth as recommended on the packet. That means you’re gonna have to Dyor.
You May also have a bit of diarrhea (aka squirty poo bum), maybe it was just me. Make of that what you will, but it would explain the toilet paper shortage. If you wish to avoid this particular side effect, I suggest you lay off the spicy margaritas for now.
Final advice
Burn through the back catalogue of HSP. My strong suggestion is Dribbler Pod 1 & 2. This was the absolute prime of the dribble and if we can get enough dribbler variant covid patients listening, we’ll get the hotline absolutely thriving once again (shout out to Big Tasty and the Tasty Boys, your legend will live forever). Another great episode is HSP#207 – Proper F#cked Origin 2005, Return Of Joey….. Queenslanders would still enjoy this as there are great Greg Inglis stats and multiple mentions of Locky’s lats.
All the love, well wishes and speedy recovery to the Punter aaaaaaannnnnddddd Dribbler
Covid never, herd immunity soon x
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