Tin Foil Hat-Wearing Knights Dribblers Start Making Excuses in Case They Don’t Make the Top 8
DYOR Dave
With less than three rounds to play before the finals series, the competition in the middle of the ladder is heating up. With 7 teams vying for the last two spots in the top 8, fans are gearing up for a dramatic end to the season which could see a few favourites miss out.
The Knights currently sit in 7th, two points clear of the Titans and the Raiders, and four points above the Sharks, Dragons, Warriors and Tigers. With upcoming games against the Bulldogs, Titans and Broncos, it seems inevitable that the Knights will make the finals, needing only two wins against lower placed teams.
However, perhaps indicative of Knight’s supporters’ outlook on the club, fans have already begun constructing conspiracy theories that will justify their team missing out on the 8. Reports from the city of Newcastle have confirmed that Tin foil is sold out at almost every supermarket, as Novocastrians flock to find any excuse, besides their own failures, for an end-of-season bedshit.
The conspiracy was in full swing at the midway point of last night’s game, where the Titans were poised to upset the high-flying Storm, which would have seen them overtake the Knights. Furthermore, news had just broken that Tom Trbojevic wouldn’t line up against the Raiders, giving the men from the nation’s capital a big chance of securing two valuable points and moving above Newcastle on the ladder.
The sheer absurdity of this theory lies in the cabal of conspirators that are said to be in charge of Newcastle’s fate. If there’s one thing that any footy fan knows, it’s that Melbourne and Manly are sworn enemies. The likelihood of them cooperating at all is minimal, and for a Knights fan to think that stopping their team would be the one uniting factor that brings these two rivals together shows the complete delusional nature of these claims. Sorry to break it to you Knights fans, but those of us at the top end of the ladder don’t take much notice of the minnows that sit below our feet.
Nevertheless, Novocastrians still think that their players pose enough of a threat to scare even the most unbeatable of teams. I’m no Knights scholar, but I’d be confident in saying that in the era of Joey, fans would be much more confident relying on the skills of their own side, rather than the results of others. Maybe the lockdown is getting to them, or maybe they haven’t tasted success in so long that they’ve become recluse, like a Trump fan unwilling to accept the reality of defeat, the only solace can be found in wild conspiracies.
QAnoncastle soon
Top 8 never
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