Gladys Berejiklian is the #1 Ticket Holder for Manly: An Omenry Analysis
DYOR Dave
An alarming piece of information has recently come to my attention that has seemingly been ignored by Punters and Dribblers. As I was sitting bathed in the sunlight of my eastern suburbs home, scrolling various antifa, anarchist and communist literature, I discovered that our state premier, the corporate-simping bin-chicken Gladys Berejiklian is the number one ticket holder for the Manly Sea Eagles. I thought it right given the polarising nature of her career, that an Omenry analysis was undertaken.
While my own omenry experience pails in comparison to the decades of omenry study completed by Tom and Eddy, my brief time learning under their tutelage has allowed me to formulate a few possible theories of what this means for the club.
A few months ago, NSW’s covid response was considered the “gold standard” by many, as Gladys had easily navigated the small amount of cases that spread around the state. Similarly, the Sea Eagles have looked comfortable as they dominated teams like the Tigers, Cowboys and Bulldogs. However, as soon as the pressure rises and decisive action is required, both Manly and Gladys become a shell of their once powerful selves.
Having only won 1 game against a top 6 side this season, and considering that side was the Eels, Manly have fallen into the same trap as the state premier. Calling this side one of the greatest in history after dismantling only beta teams would be like calling Gladys “The woman who saved Australia” after allowing in the plague ship Ruby Princess and somehow ending up with less cases than the rest of Australia. Eventually, Gladys’ lucky run came to an end, and if the omens are anything to go off, Manly’s luck will also run out soon.
Much like Berejiklian and her Koala policy, Manly seem to have no issue destroying native animals, as they have put both the Eels and the Sharks to the sword this year. However, just as Gladys protects invasive animals such as the wild Brumby, Manly have struggled to beat introduced species such as the Rabbitohs, Roosters, Panthers, and of course, the Bears.
Perhaps Gladys’ position at Manly is fitting, as both herself and the club are well known for being widely hated. Both have a history of completely eliminating long-held institutions of the city, with many holding the Sea Eagles responsible for the demise of the North Sydney Bears, and Berejiklian’s government effectively abolishing Sydney’s nightlife.
Despite all this, Manly share one regrettably positive trait with the NSW Premier, they somehow keep winning, and will probably continue to do so for the next decade. NSW took over office in 2011, the same year Manly last won the premiership, and since then have done just about all they can to try get themselves voted out. Despite this, they remain successful and somewhat popular, probably due to the fact that less than five people reading this know who Chris Minns is. (he’s the opposition leader.)
This analysis is merely my own interpretation of the facts, and according to my research, the omens don’t bode well for Tom, Eddy, or any other Manly dribblers. Unfortunately for them, the bad omens keep on coming, with other notable supporters according to Wikipedia including Tony Abbot, Mike Baird and Dwayne “the Magoo” Johnson. Those aren’t the ideal dribblers to be sharing party pies in a corporate box with.
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