McGregor is Back, and so are all my Part Time UFC Dribbler Mates
By Toby Maher
“What time does McGregor fight?” When I receive those words in the group chat, I question my life choices. What is usually the traditional ‘invite the boys over for a BBQ Paul Vaughn would be proud of while watching the UFC,’ has attracted a lot more mates of mates being added to the group chat.
Despite what Tom thinks, UFC days aren’t about picking fights with guys with spacers. It’s about enjoying some blokes in the company of blokes. It’s pouring a bloke into your shoe when Tuivasa walks out to a banger tune. It’s reminiscing on the times when BlueBet took you for a ride, or telling the boys how confident you are in an O’malley KO just to watch him hurt his leg. It is bragging to everyone about that time Alex Volknovski replied to your inbox on Facebook.
I, like my fellow punters and dribblers, get around a bit of atmosphere, cheering and chanting. For a UFC day, the more the merrier is generally the rule. “McGregor days” are an exception to the rule. I just struggle for motivation when the messages read “is Nate fighting?” or “Is Mcgregor still the double champ?”. Do I cancel? Do I enforce a lockout time? I reckon that if the door gets locked around the middle of the prelims, that will weed out those that know that there are weight classes and those that think there is just one belt.
The usual gang understand the rules, this wave of McGregor (or newly crowned Poirier) fans need to understand the rules. I only want to hear “stand them up” if the guy we all have money on is on the bottom. To be honest, every call against our bet is going to be heavily criticised. We can wrestle and roll one another, no punching, this isn’t Steve Sparks 30 minute work break.
Complaints about suspect mates aside, boy do I look forward to a UFC day. The Xbox is set up in the other room to babysit the kids, the Joe Rogan experience has been listened to all week to keep me up to date with conspiracy theories and the benefits of psychedelic drugs, while my betting account has been fully replenished.
The Poirier hot sauce that cost more in shipping than the actual sauce has arrived. The blokes ordered on liquor emporium to come out to regional NSW are readying up in the fridge. UFC is a go, I wish all my fellow punters and dribblers an unreal weekend.
Fancy yourself as a bit of a writer? Got some unqualified opinion and unwavering bias you’d like to share with the world? Send it through to dyor@hellosport.com.au to be featured on the site
